you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize