so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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