drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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