No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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