is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
