he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize