used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
