y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
