I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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