i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
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Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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