WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize