If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
