It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
