? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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