everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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