just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
