I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
