I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
