chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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