I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
