What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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