okay pat passed out under dana's car
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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