he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
