if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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