you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
