lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
