I seem to have left my pride at pride
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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