Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
