HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
