Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize