I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
