I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
