And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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