yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
