Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
