it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
