i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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