I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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