so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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