i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
