I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
