Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
