My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
