If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
