she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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