Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
