She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
