does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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