Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
