he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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