And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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