I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
