It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
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You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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