i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
