You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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