textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
