You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize